December 13, 2011

the Sunday before last

i'm still looking into it,
but something unusual and very scary happened to me the other morning..
(in complete sobriety)

i woke up with incredible pain in my abdomen.

i was clammy, pouring cold sweats.

i started ripping layer after layer of my winter PJ's off.

then...my hearing went out.

and then... my vision started fading.

i started praying because i thought i was dying!

i began to try and weave my way through the house for help.

then it happened...
two giant glowing-white beings hovered above me, ready to take me to glory.

but then my eyes refocused and i realized,

i had fainted by the washing machine and dryer.

one of my battle wounds from the fall.





December 5, 2011

Dalí




like a children's book depiction of The Great Flood,

there's always more to the story.

December 1, 2011

December 1, 2011

gold clouds will usher in the glory

this time

grey skies need me no longer



November 28, 2011

I looked down and noticed three different Tree references on my bed...

There was a time when this would've put stars in my eyes.

but I don't know what to do with synchronicity anymore.



November 21, 2011

simple piano song

I Need You Now by Annalisa

so you can read the little bio on this song over on my soundcloud by clicking the link above.

I'm definitely still not done with this song, but I was so tired of not having anything new up online that I thought "what tha heck."
so there ya have it...!

so, I was full fledged working on my EP when my sound-card went out.
so, I ordered another one and just got it in.
but now I've decided that I am going to work on my Dad's EP as my #1 priority for his 60th birthday present. :)
it's something we've wanted to do for a long time.
the man has got a lot of good songs.
good, sweet, smooth, heart-felt songs.
and he means THE WORLD to me...
so I want to make this happen now & get it mastered & possibly talk my buddy that flipsthatU into making him a cool album cover. ;)
I wanna have his songs to pass to the world and pass on to my kiddos one day.
I'll be doing some harmonies with him on it!
It's going to be so special!

My personal EP is not necessarily on the back-burner right now.. just a side burner.. it's kinda on simmer.. and i promise, it smells gooood in tha house.

Dad is #1 right now.
peace!


November 17, 2011

well hello old friend...
i've missed blogging on this!

i'm back.

June 10, 2011

when i was a little Anu, saying "shut up" was an ugly word.
one of my earlier memories is when i was 4 years old.
me and my lil 3 year old brother were playing in the backyard at
our house in Holly Springs, AR.
we started fussing about something & i was driven to my limit (apparently) because i yelled "Shut up Jonathan!"
it was one of those moments where we both sort of froze and our mouths dropped open.
gasp.
then it was on.
"OOOoooo i'm telling mama!!"
and i remember both of us running towards the house and me telling him that he didn't have to tell mom because i was going to wash my own mouth out with soap!
i remember making a mad dash towards the bathroom where i then cleaned my tongue somethin' good on a bar of soap.

but...the little squirt still told my mom. ;)

i have this foggy picture of her at the bathroom door (not mad) and me saying "it's ok Mom, i've already cleaned my mouth out with soap."

makes me wonder if i still do these kind of things on an adult level....

May 23, 2011

23May11


we used to call my nephew Gavin "Bunny" when he was a baby.
but, we don't call him that much anymore.
tonight the lil 5 year old manboy graduated from pre-school & i wore my rabbit ring!

on the way back home i drove safely up our gravel driveway because often i see rabbits scurrying across the way. (yet another reason why i love Spring!)
but i didn't see any this time.

but then later on in the house, my dad brought in this sweet little bunny that my dog had found.
though he had been tossed around quite a bit by Su, he was still alive.
i called him our graduation bunny!!
and me & Gavs were going to take care of him.
i left him in a warm box so he could relax off any shock.
but the poor little guy didn't make it.

:(

i cried.
but ya know, even through this.. i don't love my dog any less.
it's all part of life.

and life is so strange.

one day there will be no more tears. no more death.

thank you little rabbit baby for being so soft, & for having such a cute cotton tail, & for creating a few brief moments where i could FEEL the realness of life.

support independent music!!

help Matthew Santos make his next album!

check out the video and donate thru Kickstarter via the link below.
this is an incredible singer/songwriter that i've had the opportunity to work with several times and i can tell you that he's not only divinely gifted, but he's also a genuinely kind & generous soul.

10 days left to reach the $20G's goal. all or nothing on the Kickstarter platform.
get on your mark, get set... SUPPORT! :)



http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/papamgmt/matthew-santos-new-album-w-producer-charles-goodan

May 13, 2011

timing

Spring Giddiness

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don't open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

I would love to kiss you.
The price of kissing is your life.
Now my loving is running toward my life shouting,
What a bargain, let's buy it.

Daylight, full of small dancing particles
and the one great turning, our souls
are dancing with you, without feet, they dance.
Can you see them when I whisper in your ear?

All day and night, music,
a quiet, bright
reedsong. If it
fades, we fade.

-Jalaluddin Rumi

May 8, 2011

mother's day


i always liked this picture of my mom hugging my dad...she was going into labor with me.
----------
and here's a beautiful picture of my momma (circa 80's) doing what she does best.






April 24, 2011

beautiful Urdu.

A Prison Evening

Each star a rung,
night comes down the spiral
staircase of the evening.
The breeze passes by so very close
as if someone just happened to speak of love.
In the courtyard,
the trees are absorbed refugees
embroidering maps of return on the sky.
On the roof,
the moon - lovingly, generously -
is turning the stars
into a dust of sheen.
From every corner, dark-green shadows,
in ripples, come towards me.
At any moment they may break over me,
like the waves of pain each time I remember
this separation from my lover.

This thought keeps consoling me:
though tyrants may command that lamps be smashed
in rooms where lovers are destined to meet,
they cannot snuff out the moon, so today,
nor tomorrow, no tyranny will succeed,
no poison of torture make me bitter,
if just one evening in prison
can be so strangely sweet,
if just one moment anywhere on this earth.

Faiz Ahmed Faiz

April 9, 2011

my oh my! pete & repeat!

i have been so consumed lately!
lots of interruptions, lots of challenges, lots of learning, lots of praying!
but you know... thank you LORD for all of it.

i haven't been taking the best care of my body tho..
staying up to the wee hours, jumping on that creative zone when it kicks..and that's usually towards the evening.
then i can't break out of it.
and before you know it, the sun is coming up.
that gives me a dark yucky feeling.
recent emergencies causing restless sleeping & the position i've been holding my body in while working on my recordings have flared up my neck pain again..
i need to get back to the chiropractor & start some sort of yoga/pilates for real!!
the pollen is also dry patching my skin & i chipped a tiny part of my front side tooth on a fork for crying out loud.
i still want to wake up with the squirrels & go to sleep with the bunny rabbits.
i've been so out of sorts lately it feels like... i feel like i'm still trying to start New Year's Resolutions!! haha
but really, not very funny.
but then again, there is progress... and i'm also fully aware of the spiritual stirrings during the lulls.
so i'm definitely not complaining..
drumroll....tonight......i have finished all my vocals for Josh Garrels' new album!!
his album "Love and War and the Sea Inbetween" should be out late Spring/early Summer.
it was a TON of work!! :)
i didn't realize how much time i would spend working on it..
again, not complaining... i'm ridiculously excited & blessed by this opportunity. (i've been a fan of his music/heart for awhile)
it's just while recording, when i got an idea for a harmony & laid it down, i'd hear a 1000 more harmony ideas in my head & want to lay them down too.. so i did.
there was a lot of singing/re-singing Pete & Repeating.
also, this artist Josh has such an unusually cool voice/tone... & i realize now that a lot of his phrasing is different than mine.
for instance, artist Matthew Santos belts out in the same cadence/mood that i naturally want to sing in.
i know this because the first time we ever sung together, it fit like a buttery leather glove, every vocal acrobatic magically matching together..easy pure beauty & fun!
but this project has proved to be more of a challenge.. i've had to pay more attention to what i am doing vocally & pay extra close attention to the artist's vocals.
i'm so GREATful for the challenge tho because i have learned a GRATE deal.
overall, i feel grEIGHT despite feeling a little tired..
tomorrow (today) i will re-group & re-gear for my solo album..
which quite possibly may be mini.
i had a personal deadline of late Spring, but that was pushing it...
Summer just might be twice as nice.
i am going to sleep now.
i will be uploading an actual well thought out blog entry soon.

here is a beautiful song by Tim Coons to say goodnight & good-morning with.
from his new album "frailty".


(i sure have plugged the musicians tonight...)

over and out...

video

March 24, 2011

homemade pillows



Jellyfish pillows! for sale in my littleAnu Etsy shop.

the perfect springy-summery home/beach condo/hammock decor. :)

March 1, 2011

1st promo piece

whipped this up.
my buddy TIM PREUT is helping me out out with graphics & mixing & sanity
in my attempt to promote & record my first ever album.
thanks Tim. thanks world.
stay tuned for more...
here we go!

February 20, 2011

singing

2 (polar opposite) suggestions stand out most:

i've had one tell me softer suits me best.
i've had one allude that i don't bring enough [black] soul to the table.

that can make a girl doubt her sound.

sure there's room for suggestions & opinions,
i'm open!
but i can't be morphin' to somebody else's likin'! ya heard?
#1 importance is that I should like my sound.
and i do!
and i sing from a raw, real place..
what else really matters?

who am I influenced by?
i have no idea...
but i kind of like that i can say that.
i've said Sade, imogen heap, etc...
i mean, i've owned one album by each...
but i haven't listened to them in years.
i never think about them so am i really "influenced" by them??
in the church days... it was all church music.
so growing up, i have no recollection of any artists that i was drawn to because we didn't listen to "secular" music.
my idea of a good time with music was singing "Our God is an Awesome God!" and having my brother video record me (with the big VHS camcorder, o yess!)
but whenever we broke away from the Church building, secular music was eventually allowed.
so i jammed Maria Carey & Boyz II Men on repeat when i was like 12 & 13.
i got on a short lived Lenny Kravitz & Nelly Furtado kick when i was 16.
and a short phase of Christian hardcore RoCK when i was fired up for Jesus around 17.
(TNT Powerhouse in Bryant. word!)
then i learned how to play guitar.
i appreciated a little Mars Volta & a touch of reggae at 18.
a melodic Eisley, Starflyer and Cool Hand Luke at 19 along with ETWC's hippy worship tunes.
a little Portishead & Dredg & Bjork at 20.
a little Massive Attack at 21.
a 31 year old singer-songwriter/blues/folk/sexy/country at 22.
then i entered into the world of PJ Harvy, Tom Waits, Peter Gabriel, Nick Cave, Mark Lanegan, Leonard Cohen, DJ Shadow, old blues artists, Johnny Cash, Miles Davis, Waylon Jennings from ages 22ish-26ish. man, those have been some of the best tunes by far. rich years of acquired tastes from one guy, poured into me like a pez dispenser. but candy was gooood.
some had to grow on me...but with time, they've turned into some solid favorites.
i always liked the sounds of mass black gospel choirs.
i've recently liked Bon Iver's vocals and chilled out vibe.
Antony & the Johnsons, i mean...where do i start?
creepy vocals and heavy dub steps from artists like Fever Ray & Bat For Lashes.
recently early Staple Singers have been blowing me out the water..
but i don't think i really like all of anyone's anything.
(perhaps even my own?!)
and i never buy Artist's albums that i do like and stay followed up on them.
not intentionally, & i'm changing that.
the closest artist to liking their everything (at this point) would be Josh Garrels.
and i do follow up on him.
and i thought i liked the Civil Wars.
but i bought their album & was disappointed.
i think i liked the idea of them.

but anyway.. i really don't know where, if at all, i am influenced "sound wise" from these people.


i just scrolled up, and behold! this message has turned into ramble hour.
the first few lines was all i really wanted to write.
so...goodnight.

i like dude singers better than girl singers.

gearin' and burnin'

February 18, 2011

family portrait

the old church days.

i visited my grandfathers house the other night.
i never go over there because he's somewhat of a private person.
he's 86 years old and recently just broke his chest bone which breaks MY heart.
he's getting pretty frail...but still is one of those hard working old school men that works from sun UP to sun DOWN... farming, cleaning, grilling, sorting, lawn-mowing, etc..
he's got a bit of whimsy to him tho...
he eats honey buns and drinks cokes every single day.
the other day i remembered that when i was little,
around 4 or 5,
he would always get me and my brother a Micky Mouse ice cream bar from Mrs. Sally's grocery store up the road from our farm.
it was vanilla ice cream in a hard shell of chocolate in the shape of Micky's head.
i liked biting the little crunchy ears. :)
he drove a sharp old-timey green pick up truck. i just remembered that part.
we got excited when we'd see him pull up!
another memory: his tan pouch of chewing tobacco always intrigued us kids & he always kept it wide open in his truck, right in the middle of the seat. it smelled so good! but we knew something was "bad' about it... but we'd still pinch at that plumish brown stuff and once i touched my tongue to it!

since my Grandmother's death when i was 15 (over a decade ago!) i have been to their house only a couple times. i would've gone more, but i have caught the feeling that he likes his space.

anyway, in recent years i've ached to go over there and just look at photos or go into the side room with the neat sliding door and play the piano. that's the room we always had our family Christmas in. the big tree and lots of gifties! For years, Grandmother would spend $20 on each grandchild. i remember looking through those big Sears & JC Penny catalogs trying to pick out my gift. i always loved the smell of those big books & wished i could say a magic word and make anything out of there appear to me! i also loved the little girl models..blonde curly hair, tiny bodies, perfect little smiles! driving the cool Barbie car or whatever it was.
they seemed so happy & perfect in every way!

one night during last week's snowstorm, we went to check up on my Grandfather.

it was so warm and cozy.. the fire was going, tv was on, some sweets were on the table..

i hugged him up, let him and dad talk for a bit, and i went on my long awaited journey!

here's a photo of the piano room:

(photo hanging on the wall. what an incredibly good looking family..almost impossibly so. from L to R: Papa Woody, Grandmother, Aunt LaQuetta, Uncle Wade & my Dad--what a cool lookin' dude!! looks like my brother. he was about 29 here, Wade 21, & Quetta a teen.)

the hymn was turned to "No, Never Alone"
it talked about God being with you in the storm.
as i was getting all emotional & picking out the chords to the song,
and breathing in the smell of memories..
i looked to my right and underneath the side table was a little picture of me! i was standing by that Christmas tree i mentioned above.. and a little dove figurine had been guarding over me all these years.


(up close red. grandmother made the puppy sweatshirt, mom loved "scrunched down socks and granny boots' with every outfit me & my sis wore! & i loved makeup and accessories..although, i never played with baby-dolls or anything else "girlie")

to be continued.. i'm so sleepy. (now. finally. goodnight 6:30AM, HELL-o 9:30 alarm clock.)
i'm vacillating on whether or not i should get electrocuted.


on another note, i hear that humans are not nocturnal..
so why then does my creativity seem to hit around the wee hours, right around the time i'm trying to bed down, making me want to stay in the zone all night?
sigh..work early.
i'll be achingly tired again.

solo project #hard work #big pool

February 15, 2011

step it up



wanna play an arcade game?

yeah, this is smoking hot.

buff buffer buffing

i still don't know how i feel about Tumblr.
i was hoping to use it for shorter posts...
ones directed a little more towards promoting my art-&-music projects
and less on sharing the ole heart.

sometimes you gotta try on different shoes..

or re-try on.

Or break out the polish.


or re-try on.

February 8, 2011

a fine quote.

“In spite of everything I shall rise again: I will take up my pencil, which I have forsaken in my great discouragement, and I will go on with my drawing.”

-Vincent van Gogh

February 6, 2011

dying stars

dying stars

the later years..

last night i read “For Annie” by Edgar Allen Poe.

last night i also learned to play a song for my mom to sing.

it’s called “On Bended Knee”…i put a nice ethereal effect on the keys.

i turn the reverb up on the microphone so it can help her get loose & dreamy in the song.

it brings tears to my eyes to hear her pretty voice.

somewhere in-between church wounds & woes, taking the brunt of the emotional blows that come from dealing with your child’s drug addiction and the aberration of raising your own grandchildren..

she lost herself.

and i’m going to help her come back to life again.





dynamic.

i must see this movie.

(Vengo)

February 4, 2011

i’m learning how to tweak my photos to another degree.

scanned the tissue paper i painted, then uploaded a picture i took while in Mexico in the Summer of 2008.

actually the photo is a still shot from my FlipCam. so the quality isn’t very high.

then i play around in Picnik.. a great place to store & edit photos online for FREE!

they have a nice layering technique i just found out about.. been playing with it all night long. there are still more things you can layer and tweak on! possibilites really are endless! but this is a pretty basic idea. just the photo, scanned paper & adjusting the colors manually.

i’m realizing more and more how much i love working with the digital arts.

everywhere i turn, Color Combinations stand out to me. bad or good, doesn’t matter.. i notice them all & think things like: “hmm, that could be better in a muted shade of purple”, and “that terrible combination would just come alive with a splash of florescent yellow!” or ”i’ve never thought of that combo before!!” and i’ll want to run home and paint it. the other day i noticed how pretty my waitress shirt was in Aqua, and i saw an old deep orange hoodie layin’ on my floor.. i later stripped them off and laid them next to the table i was going to tissue-paint on and i got this:


So! back to the twiiinnkies!!

oh.. i mean tweaking. :(

after a little of this and a dash of that you get a nice before and after!

Before:

After:

and here’s an unfinished bonus tweaker:

twas fun.

February 3, 2011

yay!! i sold my first jellyfish pillow! i’ve never had so many “hearts” on a listing before. i sold the tall light blue one. it had 24 hearts in all. i think these little guys are my favorite handmade artsie to date. (click the picture to be forwarded to my Etsy shop) side note: i got my 5 year old nephew a pet fish for Christmas & he named it Jellyfish. :))

yay!! i sold my first jellyfish pillow!

i’ve never had so many “hearts” on a listing before.

i sold the tall light blue one.

it had 24 hearts in all.

i think these little guys are my favorite handmade artsie to date.

(click the picture to be forwarded to my Etsy shop)

side note: i got my 5 year old nephew a pet fish for Christmas & he named it Jellyfish. :))

It’s nearing the anniversary of my buddy William’s passing. I’ve been pretty sick today… Think I caught a lil bug or somethin’… I opened an old notebook tonight & found this card from him inside. Circa 2001. I thought it was pretty sweet that it happened to be a get well soon card. (nice touch will/Lord) But inside he talked mostly about how grateful he was for me & my family inviting him to church. He says “Nov 17th, 2001 i found God which is the biggest accomplishment of my life & nothing will ever top that…I truly asked Him to walk with me and protect me & my life has not been the same since.” How precious..I’m already feeling a little better. :) I know that he is all better now too..restored to the pure Love he had once encountered, and at his core, always longed for. Love you will. Gone but not forgotten.

It’s nearing the anniversary of my buddy William’s passing. I’ve been pretty sick today… Think I caught a lil bug or somethin’… I opened an old notebook tonight & found this card from him inside. Circa 2001. I thought it was pretty sweet that it happened to be a get well soon card. (nice touch will/Lord) But inside he talked mostly about how grateful he was for me & my family inviting him to church. He says “Nov 17th, 2001 i found God which is the biggest accomplishment of my life & nothing will ever top that…I truly asked Him to walk with me and protect me & my life has not been the same since.” How precious..I’m already feeling a little better. :) I know that he is all better now too..restored to the pure Love he had once encountered, and at his core, always longed for. Love you will. Gone but not forgotten.