no not me.. Pepper!
September 30, 2009
September 29, 2009
i want to understand worship more.
i want to understand the heart of God, and God's heart for me.
i CAN hear from Him, & i refuse to believe otherwise.
i am thankful that my path is being directed by the
glow of the lamp...
ever so dim as it may be at times.
i think about fasting & prayer.
and how some things come only by these.
deeper. i want to know me.
& i WILL know you.
September 7, 2009
i heard a little squeeky noise.
i turned around to find my cat Fraidy jumping around and patting the grass with his paws.
i ran over to see what it was and found it was a baby squirrel trying to run for it's tiny life!
i started yelling and shooing off the cat, and scrambled to pick up the little guy.
he wasn't hurt, it didn't seem.
so i loved him up, and got him a shoe-box home, and fed him diluted pet milk with a dropper for supper.
he's so small, his eyes aren't even opened yet.
after finding him, i got pretty emotional for some reason..
maybe because i saved it's life (hopefully it's a long life)
or because i wished that
someone who loves animals & sweet things
was with me at the discovery.
i was surprised that today wasn't 24 in any way.
September 6, 2009
a good friend of mine really wanted me to go ride horses with her & a bunch of country folk.
i've never rode a horse.
never really desired to.
and i'm not into anything much "country"
but she promised me i'd love it.
so i said yes.
we all walked out to the field to see the horses,
flashlights in hand.
the light caught 2 horses, that were "connecting".
i was like WHAT THE?!
that was probably the highlight of the night for me.
not trying to be all weird-- it was just a powerful mating process.
good ole nature.
i was really on edge around the horses, tho.
they're so big and strong,
and surely they have a mind of their own..
stories i've heard about people getting kicked in the head or being stomped to death by the beasts swirled through my head.
but i kept sucking it up, to try and have a good time & not dissapoint my friend that invited me.
one of the men folk out there looked like a rough version of one of the guys
from 7 brides for 7 brothers.
pretty red hair.
his name was John Boy.
him, including all the men--the riding pros--
(my protecters when the horses drag me off into the woods)--
i began to feel even more out of place & unsafe.
finally tho, with much prodding, i saddled up on a horse named Sassy.
i rode her around the yard area.
even though i was still a little scared, i really enjoyed the ride.
i liked being up so high.
i thought about horses as transporation for the Indians,
i imagined that i lived back then.
i love stories from the 1800s.
my beer was hot.
the mosquitos were out,
& the air was thick and smelled of manure.
(these people were lapping it up tho! right at home in the boonies!)
my friend kept telling me, i know this is not your style out here,
but just look at it like you're in a movie!
i said "I have been Jess, but movies are usually over in an hour and a half!"
the plan i guess, was for me to ride off into the woods until daylight,
but i just couldn't. so i left.
for a first time ride, around the yard was enough for me.
if it's any longer than that, i'd like to have at least one sober instructor on board & possibly the sun shining so i can see where i'm going.
i experienced a whole different culture right in my own town.
(EDIT: i think that IS the culture of my town.)
and everyone of those people were precious.
but i felt so, so out of place.
i kept feeling bad about it too..
i called my cousin to vent & he said "but Annalisa, if you were to take John Boy and stick him in a wine and cheese tasting, he'd feel out of place too."
so there. :)
September 3, 2009
i was walking hurridly last night to the studio to turn off the lights,
when suddenly i was stopped in my tracks by an energy above..i slowly looked up.
there was a dance in the wonder world going on above my head.
the moon, the little star planet & the clouds were working together to create
the most magical sky i'd seen in quite some time.
thousands of grey clouds with a ring of dying fire around them,
were making their way home.
i thought about God.
and i decided it was so, so good to believe.