November 19, 2009


"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."

Proverbs 4:23


oh little doddy moddy.

November 15, 2009

sick again

my fever is down enough for me to blog some.
this is the third time in a month for me to get horribly ill.
i had a fun craft fair planned for today that i worked hard for,
but couldn't make it!
my immune system seems shot.

sometimes do you ever wonder what we're all doing here on this planet?
like, what's the goal?
we all die.
you raise a family but.. for what?
i'm not getting weird and negative..
i just have been thinking about it.
do we have a family so they can enhance our life?
or so they can experience life?
or is there something bigger than that?
like..what's the bigger picture??

i need to know.

November 10, 2009

i found out my friend that i've had the longest has AIDS.
it's a sad, sad day.


ever wonder what is God's will for your life?
wonder no more...

1 Thessalonians 5:18
"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you..."

oh Father i need you.
everything is so fragile.

November 7, 2009


i haven't notebook journaled one lick since my last big heartache, in July-ish.
that's not like me to go this long.
i've felt exhausted emotionally many a times in my few years.
i go about my day, i get things done..
but every once in awhile i get a tiny peek into my feminine soul..
and there is so much hurt.
it almost knocks the wind out of me.

got back from California.
i love it when music just flows.
like you don't have to MAKE it happen, it just happens!
we all created 2 really awesome songs.
i want to make more!!
i'm beginning to write a song based out of the Song of Songs.
it's going to be worshippy & soft & light & meaningful.

i've felt very disconnected in life.
i don't know another word for it..
but it's like i haven't FELT in awhile..

i want to taste & see the glory of God.
i want to abide in Him & Him in ME.

i saw Pepper yesterday.
i was so excited driving on my way to see him.
it'd been over 2 weeks.
i hoped he'd remember me..
i dreamed about him a few times while gone.
but... he was SO squirrley.
running around fast and acting crazy and gnawing on me!
i gave him several acorns so he'd devoured them instead of my fingers.
he'd grown. his entire belly was white & furry, & his tail super fluffy.
he was so, so cute.
good thing i got that visit in, because
today, my Uncle told me he ran away into a tree.
i know Pepper's happy.
right where he belongs. :)
i'll never forget him!

we have a NUTT family reunion tomorrow.
been working on it all yesterday & today.
my parents & i cleaned out my great-grandparents house & dolled it up to have the reunion there tomorrow.
that place is filled with history.
people get their little nest all fixed up & create a life & then in the snap of a finger... they're gone.
it's really sad. but it's life.

i like what someone said about life:
"i just look at today & trust God with today.. if i look any further than that, i'm done."

i AM done if i look or think too far into the future.. when i start weighing it all out.

i am just taking every minute by minute and trusting God with my life and decisions right NOW.

it's so good to know there is a GOD and he's very aware of me & loves me.

we all need to ABIDE IN HIM.

Trust, trust, trust.

it's all going to work out for the good.