November 24, 2010


oh well.

this practice is for vanity's sake.
but true
no smile was ever forced back then.

a fallish winter.

Happy Thanksgiving.
Happy birthday to mom.
Christmas Eve is a month away.
i've been practicing my smile:

i've also been enjoying the short stories of Brian Andreas.
it reminds me of that idea of little blogs turned into books.

"Going Somewhere Soon"

here's a few excerpts:
"i moved a lot when i was young
& i still ache a bit at
the thought of all those autumns
in new & unfamiliar landscapes."
"i made a bed of nails once like
they do in India
but my mom said i'd need my tetanus shots first.
so after awhile i just leaned it
against the garage & threw apples at it
& watched them stick."
"he told me that the night his mother died,
there were storms & far away
he saw purple lightning
& someone left the window open
& the room filled with a
swirl of butterflies
& she slipped out quietly
without anyone noticing

& i'm sure the grief was
softer because of that."


what to do. do to what? what to do.

November 20, 2010


86 years worth of rich stories!
sadly, i hadn't heard any of them..

until that summer night
3 months ago.
we were driving him home after my Aunt's graduation.
a two hour drive--
and he talked most of the way.
it was the most i'd heard him talk in my whole life.
i soaked it up like a little sponge.

i found out he used to have a pet Otter named Ollie.
it was his best buddy.
he'd feed it fish and teach him tricks!

he also told us a story that he said no one would believe.
a few years ago he was locking the gate at the old farm..
he said he shut his eyes and left his body.
he said he was in an old rocking chair and was flying or "gliding" above the back part of town
and could see things happening below, but no one could see him.
he said he flew above the old Ebenezer cemetery.
he was very aware of where he was the whole time.
he said it lasted for some time, and then he decided to go back to the farm.
he opened his eyes and was back.
he said it felt amazing.
and i believed every word he said.

November 19, 2010

the oldest.

a natural with people, with piano, with words.
it hurts to see so much potential waste away.

someone once said she was a cat with nine lives.

don't let her land on all fours today, Lord.

that's how much i love her.

life choices CAN be redeemed.

"punishment that hurts will chase evil from the heart.." -Proverbs 22:15

away in a manger..

lil peeweepuppy.

PinkPupDesign on Etsy.

November 18, 2010


an equally beautiful video to go with one of Coldplay's best songs.
possibly my favorite music video ever?
there are so many little things in it that pull me in..
this will probably be my next cover on my channel.

YouTube is really becoming strict on embedding (which makes no sense
to me!!)
so this is the best i could find.. which it'll probably be disabled too once it gets enough hits.

i suggest this video be watched here instead:

nice & clear. expand the screen & put on those headphones.
class early, goodnight.

November 17, 2010

17 Nov 10

i hear that it's raining.
i step outside for a breath of fresh air.
clouds move swiftly across the moon like a thousand gray doves.
muted lavender and navy never looked so pretty together.
i see one star. or is it an airplane?
i'm not sure.
drip drip drip.
my hand catches some of the splash.

the door opens and my sister's youngest walks out.
we look up together.
he wants to know how the moon is moving so fast...
drip drip.
i try to explain that it is only the clouds that are moving.
only the air that is pushing.

my words seem too much.

i loosen my depiction of the sky.

...we spend the next few minutes watching the moon take flight.

November 13, 2010

track and treats

what is me?

life is good, hard, beautiful, ugly, full of revelation and confusing. all at the same time.
there are so many people in this world.
it blows my mind like the thought of Eternity does.

i'm in Chicago.
this morning i recorded a few original songs for a demo.
pretty emotional songs to come into full contact with so early in the day.
i was in a quirky/homey upstairs studio. this guy who does graffiti tagged these faces on bright yellow pillows. some of the coolest cushions i eva did see.
i haven't painted a pillow in a long time, i realized.

we were above an authentic mexican joint called the Burrito House.
i got a big one with extra avocado.
i usually never know what to order, and once i finally do...
i always wish i would have gotten something else.
i'm staying with my old friend Adam.
his roommate is a great hispanic Christian guy.
it was very refreshing talking with him about the Faith...
i don't think i'm as lost as i thought i was.

i can hear "Imagine" by John Lennon in the background while in my bedroom.
it feels soothing. i have a crock-pot on filled with water and a random idea of cough drops thrown in. this is supposed to help keep the air moist.
[editors note: i woke up the next morning with my socks boiling in the crock-pot. i kicked them off during the night & apparently they landed right in it! also, the water was yellow from the cough drops. you can only imagine my reaction.]
my voice is getting scratchy... the timing is just impeccable.

praying, neti-pot, halls, seclusion-no talking, lots of water... this should make me better by tomorrow's show.

November 1, 2010

oct 88

found something i drew when i was 5 years old:

it appears i was blue in the womb.

November 1st

we all do things in life that we regret.
different levels of gut wrenching, maybe.
but regrets nonetheless.

may we forgive outside forces, and may we forgive ourselves.

hello, November.