i visited my grandfathers house the other night.

i never go over there because he's somewhat of a private person.

he's 86 years old and recently just broke his chest bone which breaks MY heart.

he's getting pretty frail...but still is one of those hard working old school men that works from sun UP to sun DOWN... farming, cleaning, grilling, sorting, lawn-mowing, etc..

he's got a bit of whimsy to him tho...

he eats honey buns and drinks cokes every single day.

the other day i remembered that when i was little,

around 4 or 5,

he would always get me and my brother a Micky Mouse ice cream bar from Mrs. Sally's grocery store up the road from our farm.

it was vanilla ice cream in a hard shell of chocolate in the shape of Micky's head.

i liked biting the little crunchy ears. :)

he drove a sharp old-timey green pick up truck. i just remembered that part.

we got excited when we'd see him pull up!

another memory: his tan pouch of chewing tobacco always intrigued us kids & he always kept it wide open in his truck, right in the middle of the seat. it smelled so good! but we knew something was "bad' about it... but we'd still pinch at that plumish brown stuff and once i touched my tongue to it!

since my Grandmother's death when i was 15 (over a decade ago!) i have been to their house only a couple times. i would've gone more, but i have caught the feeling that he likes his space.

anyway, in recent years i've ached to go over there and just look at photos or go into the side room with the neat sliding door and play the piano. that's the room we always had our family Christmas in. the big tree and lots of gifties! For years, Grandmother would spend $20 on each grandchild. i remember looking through those big Sears & JC Penny catalogs trying to pick out my gift. i always loved the smell of those big books & wished i could say a magic word and make anything out of there appear to me! i also loved the little girl models..blonde curly hair, tiny bodies, perfect little smiles! driving the cool Barbie car or whatever it was.

they seemed so happy & perfect in every way!

one night during last week's snowstorm, we went to check up on my Grandfather.

it was so warm and cozy.. the fire was going, tv was on, some sweets were on the table..

i hugged him up, let him and dad talk for a bit, and i went on my long awaited journey!

here's a photo of the piano room:

(photo hanging on the wall. what an incredibly good looking family..almost impossibly so. from L to R: Papa Woody, Grandmother, Aunt LaQuetta, Uncle Wade & my Dad--what a cool lookin' dude!! looks like my brother. he was about 29 here, Wade 21, & Quetta a teen.)

the hymn was turned to "No, Never Alone"

it talked about God being with you in the storm.

as i was getting all emotional & picking out the chords to the song,

and breathing in the smell of memories..

i looked to my right and underneath the side table was a little picture of me! i was standing by that Christmas tree i mentioned above.. and a little dove figurine had been guarding over me all these years.

(up close red. grandmother made the puppy sweatshirt, mom loved "scrunched down socks and granny boots' with every outfit me & my sis wore! & i loved makeup and accessories..although, i never played with baby-dolls or anything else "girlie")

to be continued.. i'm so sleepy. (now. finally. goodnight 6:30AM, HELL-o 9:30 alarm clock.)