February 20, 2011

singing

2 (polar opposite) suggestions stand out most:

i've had one tell me softer suits me best.
i've had one allude that i don't bring enough [black] soul to the table.

that can make a girl doubt her sound.

sure there's room for suggestions & opinions,
i'm open!
but i can't be morphin' to somebody else's likin'! ya heard?
#1 importance is that I should like my sound.
and i do!
and i sing from a raw, real place..
what else really matters?

who am I influenced by?
i have no idea...
but i kind of like that i can say that.
i've said Sade, imogen heap, etc...
i mean, i've owned one album by each...
but i haven't listened to them in years.
i never think about them so am i really "influenced" by them??
in the church days... it was all church music.
so growing up, i have no recollection of any artists that i was drawn to because we didn't listen to "secular" music.
my idea of a good time with music was singing "Our God is an Awesome God!" and having my brother video record me (with the big VHS camcorder, o yess!)
but whenever we broke away from the Church building, secular music was eventually allowed.
so i jammed Maria Carey & Boyz II Men on repeat when i was like 12 & 13.
i got on a short lived Lenny Kravitz & Nelly Furtado kick when i was 16.
and a short phase of Christian hardcore RoCK when i was fired up for Jesus around 17.
(TNT Powerhouse in Bryant. word!)
then i learned how to play guitar.
i appreciated a little Mars Volta & a touch of reggae at 18.
a melodic Eisley, Starflyer and Cool Hand Luke at 19 along with ETWC's hippy worship tunes.
a little Portishead & Dredg & Bjork at 20.
a little Massive Attack at 21.
a 31 year old singer-songwriter/blues/folk/sexy/country at 22.
then i entered into the world of PJ Harvy, Tom Waits, Peter Gabriel, Nick Cave, Mark Lanegan, Leonard Cohen, DJ Shadow, old blues artists, Johnny Cash, Miles Davis, Waylon Jennings from ages 22ish-26ish. man, those have been some of the best tunes by far. rich years of acquired tastes from one guy, poured into me like a pez dispenser. but candy was gooood.
some had to grow on me...but with time, they've turned into some solid favorites.
i always liked the sounds of mass black gospel choirs.
i've recently liked Bon Iver's vocals and chilled out vibe.
Antony & the Johnsons, i mean...where do i start?
creepy vocals and heavy dub steps from artists like Fever Ray & Bat For Lashes.
recently early Staple Singers have been blowing me out the water..
but i don't think i really like all of anyone's anything.
(perhaps even my own?!)
and i never buy Artist's albums that i do like and stay followed up on them.
not intentionally, & i'm changing that.
the closest artist to liking their everything (at this point) would be Josh Garrels.
and i do follow up on him.
and i thought i liked the Civil Wars.
but i bought their album & was disappointed.
i think i liked the idea of them.

but anyway.. i really don't know where, if at all, i am influenced "sound wise" from these people.


i just scrolled up, and behold! this message has turned into ramble hour.
the first few lines was all i really wanted to write.
so...goodnight.

i like dude singers better than girl singers.

gearin' and burnin'

February 18, 2011

family portrait

the old church days.

i visited my grandfathers house the other night.
i never go over there because he's somewhat of a private person.
he's 86 years old and recently just broke his chest bone which breaks MY heart.
he's getting pretty frail...but still is one of those hard working old school men that works from sun UP to sun DOWN... farming, cleaning, grilling, sorting, lawn-mowing, etc..
he's got a bit of whimsy to him tho...
he eats honey buns and drinks cokes every single day.
the other day i remembered that when i was little,
around 4 or 5,
he would always get me and my brother a Micky Mouse ice cream bar from Mrs. Sally's grocery store up the road from our farm.
it was vanilla ice cream in a hard shell of chocolate in the shape of Micky's head.
i liked biting the little crunchy ears. :)
he drove a sharp old-timey green pick up truck. i just remembered that part.
we got excited when we'd see him pull up!
another memory: his tan pouch of chewing tobacco always intrigued us kids & he always kept it wide open in his truck, right in the middle of the seat. it smelled so good! but we knew something was "bad' about it... but we'd still pinch at that plumish brown stuff and once i touched my tongue to it!

since my Grandmother's death when i was 15 (over a decade ago!) i have been to their house only a couple times. i would've gone more, but i have caught the feeling that he likes his space.

anyway, in recent years i've ached to go over there and just look at photos or go into the side room with the neat sliding door and play the piano. that's the room we always had our family Christmas in. the big tree and lots of gifties! For years, Grandmother would spend $20 on each grandchild. i remember looking through those big Sears & JC Penny catalogs trying to pick out my gift. i always loved the smell of those big books & wished i could say a magic word and make anything out of there appear to me! i also loved the little girl models..blonde curly hair, tiny bodies, perfect little smiles! driving the cool Barbie car or whatever it was.
they seemed so happy & perfect in every way!

one night during last week's snowstorm, we went to check up on my Grandfather.

it was so warm and cozy.. the fire was going, tv was on, some sweets were on the table..

i hugged him up, let him and dad talk for a bit, and i went on my long awaited journey!

here's a photo of the piano room:

(photo hanging on the wall. what an incredibly good looking family..almost impossibly so. from L to R: Papa Woody, Grandmother, Aunt LaQuetta, Uncle Wade & my Dad--what a cool lookin' dude!! looks like my brother. he was about 29 here, Wade 21, & Quetta a teen.)

the hymn was turned to "No, Never Alone"
it talked about God being with you in the storm.
as i was getting all emotional & picking out the chords to the song,
and breathing in the smell of memories..
i looked to my right and underneath the side table was a little picture of me! i was standing by that Christmas tree i mentioned above.. and a little dove figurine had been guarding over me all these years.


(up close red. grandmother made the puppy sweatshirt, mom loved "scrunched down socks and granny boots' with every outfit me & my sis wore! & i loved makeup and accessories..although, i never played with baby-dolls or anything else "girlie")

to be continued.. i'm so sleepy. (now. finally. goodnight 6:30AM, HELL-o 9:30 alarm clock.)
i'm vacillating on whether or not i should get electrocuted.


on another note, i hear that humans are not nocturnal..
so why then does my creativity seem to hit around the wee hours, right around the time i'm trying to bed down, making me want to stay in the zone all night?
sigh..work early.
i'll be achingly tired again.

solo project #hard work #big pool

February 15, 2011

step it up



wanna play an arcade game?

yeah, this is smoking hot.

buff buffer buffing

i still don't know how i feel about Tumblr.
i was hoping to use it for shorter posts...
ones directed a little more towards promoting my art-&-music projects
and less on sharing the ole heart.

sometimes you gotta try on different shoes..

or re-try on.

Or break out the polish.


or re-try on.

February 8, 2011

a fine quote.

“In spite of everything I shall rise again: I will take up my pencil, which I have forsaken in my great discouragement, and I will go on with my drawing.”

-Vincent van Gogh

February 6, 2011

dying stars

dying stars

the later years..

last night i read “For Annie” by Edgar Allen Poe.

last night i also learned to play a song for my mom to sing.

it’s called “On Bended Knee”…i put a nice ethereal effect on the keys.

i turn the reverb up on the microphone so it can help her get loose & dreamy in the song.

it brings tears to my eyes to hear her pretty voice.

somewhere in-between church wounds & woes, taking the brunt of the emotional blows that come from dealing with your child’s drug addiction and the aberration of raising your own grandchildren..

she lost herself.

and i’m going to help her come back to life again.





dynamic.

i must see this movie.

(Vengo)

February 4, 2011

i’m learning how to tweak my photos to another degree.

scanned the tissue paper i painted, then uploaded a picture i took while in Mexico in the Summer of 2008.

actually the photo is a still shot from my FlipCam. so the quality isn’t very high.

then i play around in Picnik.. a great place to store & edit photos online for FREE!

they have a nice layering technique i just found out about.. been playing with it all night long. there are still more things you can layer and tweak on! possibilites really are endless! but this is a pretty basic idea. just the photo, scanned paper & adjusting the colors manually.

i’m realizing more and more how much i love working with the digital arts.

everywhere i turn, Color Combinations stand out to me. bad or good, doesn’t matter.. i notice them all & think things like: “hmm, that could be better in a muted shade of purple”, and “that terrible combination would just come alive with a splash of florescent yellow!” or ”i’ve never thought of that combo before!!” and i’ll want to run home and paint it. the other day i noticed how pretty my waitress shirt was in Aqua, and i saw an old deep orange hoodie layin’ on my floor.. i later stripped them off and laid them next to the table i was going to tissue-paint on and i got this:


So! back to the twiiinnkies!!

oh.. i mean tweaking. :(

after a little of this and a dash of that you get a nice before and after!

Before:

After:

and here’s an unfinished bonus tweaker:

twas fun.

February 3, 2011

yay!! i sold my first jellyfish pillow! i’ve never had so many “hearts” on a listing before. i sold the tall light blue one. it had 24 hearts in all. i think these little guys are my favorite handmade artsie to date. (click the picture to be forwarded to my Etsy shop) side note: i got my 5 year old nephew a pet fish for Christmas & he named it Jellyfish. :))

yay!! i sold my first jellyfish pillow!

i’ve never had so many “hearts” on a listing before.

i sold the tall light blue one.

it had 24 hearts in all.

i think these little guys are my favorite handmade artsie to date.

(click the picture to be forwarded to my Etsy shop)

side note: i got my 5 year old nephew a pet fish for Christmas & he named it Jellyfish. :))

It’s nearing the anniversary of my buddy William’s passing. I’ve been pretty sick today… Think I caught a lil bug or somethin’… I opened an old notebook tonight & found this card from him inside. Circa 2001. I thought it was pretty sweet that it happened to be a get well soon card. (nice touch will/Lord) But inside he talked mostly about how grateful he was for me & my family inviting him to church. He says “Nov 17th, 2001 i found God which is the biggest accomplishment of my life & nothing will ever top that…I truly asked Him to walk with me and protect me & my life has not been the same since.” How precious..I’m already feeling a little better. :) I know that he is all better now too..restored to the pure Love he had once encountered, and at his core, always longed for. Love you will. Gone but not forgotten.

It’s nearing the anniversary of my buddy William’s passing. I’ve been pretty sick today… Think I caught a lil bug or somethin’… I opened an old notebook tonight & found this card from him inside. Circa 2001. I thought it was pretty sweet that it happened to be a get well soon card. (nice touch will/Lord) But inside he talked mostly about how grateful he was for me & my family inviting him to church. He says “Nov 17th, 2001 i found God which is the biggest accomplishment of my life & nothing will ever top that…I truly asked Him to walk with me and protect me & my life has not been the same since.” How precious..I’m already feeling a little better. :) I know that he is all better now too..restored to the pure Love he had once encountered, and at his core, always longed for. Love you will. Gone but not forgotten.