eleven

the Holidays came upon me fast and left before i knew it.

this is probably the first Christmas where i was ready for it to be over with before it even started!

i figured that just meant i was getting older..

but after some thought, i realized it was mostly because i was really ready for the fresh slate of 2011 to begin, and not that i was losing my whimsical side.

(another part is that i hate how America does Christmas)

i didn't do anything too special to ring in the year, and i decided not to make any New Years resolutions..

but, as suggested by a friend, i am speaking certain words over my year.

at a show on 1-1-11, she told me that she spoke the word "order" over hers.

it really inspired me! seemed like a fresh idea.

i've been thinking about different words, but "order" in every sense , feels good to me too for 2011.

i look into numbers a lot.

i have special ones in my life, and they are significant everywhere...from the cosmos, to the number of ribs we have, to music composition, to God.

so i thought about the number 11 and wondered if it held a special meaning for this New Year...

after some reading, i find it "ironic" (in Alanis Morissette's definition?!) that the number 11 in the bible means DISORDER.

http://www.biblestudy.org/bibleref/meaning-of-numbers-in-bible/21.html

i have not researched many other Numerology sites..

but this definition was congruent with a couple others.

i'm still speaking ORDER over 2011.

gotta always speak and think Life, ya know?

the other word for my year is:

Joy.

Harvest Moon. taken December 2010.

abandoned project

i just caught the sky on fire.

wounded birds

precept upon precept

keepin' it profReshional.

new M-Audio Axiom Pro 61 keyboard controller.

she's really pretty...

candlestick letter

my mom found this Christmas card tonight that my late grandpa Charlie sent to

her back in 1984.

she then said "If my dad was alive today he'd be 104 years old!!"

i told her that was really cool.

he passed away when i was 3 years old.

i have only one foggy memory of him.

it was summertime & and i believe we were in the kitchen.

he was getting a bandage for me out of the cabinet.

i felt safe.

the smell of wintergreen always reminds me of him.

i found out later in life that he chewed Wintergreen Copenhagen tobacco.

so that's probably why.

parts of his letter:

"Ida said you mentioned sending tapes on the New Testament, please don't do it, tapes make me sleepy. I can do my own reading...save your money."

"I get so mad sometimes reading the Bible, of how stupid some of the people was in Christ time and it seems they haven't changed much since, our Savior had a hard time when he was here, for sure. Seems like they are always trying to kill him."

and at the end he says "kiss the gals for me!

that would've been me and my sister.

(little johnny was following close behind tho)

he sometimes signed his name "Chaz" & i used to say i wanted to name my 1st son that.

i'm sleepy...Merry Christmas.

21 DEC sky

i only caught one glimpse of the moon last night.

the Earth's shadow was covering about half of it.

mostly, i just watched the night clouds drift by.

i sat and prayed for clear skies and breathed in the gentle winter solstice winds.

thought about those ever invading life, death and purpose questions.

earlier, i was thinking about how painful it would be to lose a loved one around Christmas time,

so i breathed prayers of protection over all i could think of.

right before i took my seat under the stars, i found out that my dear friend's Mom had passed away that night.

i was just conversing with my friend that afternoon.

she was so excited to watch the lunar eclipse!

you never know what the next minute can hold.

i'm so heartbroken for her.

grace and peace to you Lisa, my sister.

your mother got the best view in the house of that copper red moon.

there really is a lot of pain in life.

and unless you want a miserable existence whilst floating through space,

you will have to keep Hope.

Hope that the ones who suffer will be delivered.

Hope that any good you do, really does bring change.

Hope that your dreams will come true.

Hope that your wounds will heal.

Hope that we will all be together again one day.

"Blessed are they that mourn...for they shall be comforted." -Matthew 5:4